Limbo

goodbyetongasmall

This is the first time in my life where I do not know what is going to happen.

I have an idea, a hope, but a written down secured plan? No.

I thought we did. We’d gotten passports, visas, accommodation confirmed etc etc. But we arrived and the plan changed. We got ill, it turned out there was no job, no purpose, just us trying to figure out what next.

The only thing I’ve been sure about this whole process is that we’re meant to be in South Africa. It’s funny, but we didn’t really pray about going to Tonga, specifically. We were like ‘yeah, it looks and sounds good; sure.’ It turns out you should really pray about every detail – obvious when looking back, but not to us when we were making such a big decision. To be honest it just didn’t occur to us – the fact we were moving was decision enough, but it turns out where God wants you is also important. I believe that God could have sorted a job out for us in Tonga and we’d have had a good year. He would have used us and it would have been an experience. But I also believe that when you are where God wants you that’s when you see real change and experience God on a new level.

So next week, we are moving, again. To a hospital called Mseleni, in KwaZulu Natal. About 350km away.

For us it comes back to experiencing God’s ‘immeasurable greatness.’ If I’m not where God wants me to  be, if I’m not trusting Him for everything, despite how darned annoying it is, then how can I expect to experience His immeasurable greatness?’

Yes, we have been sent to South Africa and that’s cool (to be honest it doesn’t feel that cool at the moment – currently sitting in a Spur waiting for our car to be tested for the 3rd day running!) but we are all called to trust in God and lean on Him.

Purpose? How frustrating not to have one right now other than just be and wait. But God knows why. Maybe being is my purpose and in doing so I’ll become more purposeful.

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